Fish Fear Me

Don't Say It

Five more inches of global warming this morning. With temps for the month probably hitting historic low averages, like a lot of people I'm starting to run out of places to put the snow in some spots. This morning I had to walk the present at the end of the driveway from the snowplow shovelful by shovelful to where there was room for it. 

As tends to happen, especially this winter, we'll have just enough time to clean the snow up before another blast of cold air hits. -9 for a low overnight here. -20s further north. I'm not complaining though, because I'm headed that direction for a few days. 

Just don't talk to me about climate change. I don't want to hear one more word about it for the next two and a half months, I just want to get through this winter.

Not one word.

Just Curious

I wonder how many of those who are highly offended that Wendy Davis has been nicknamed "Abortion Barbie" chuckled when Sarah Palin was nicknamed "Caribou Barbie." 

The truth of the matter is that much of the "progressive" left hates women who step out of the ideological boundaries they've set for them every bit as much as some on the fundamentalist right. Both groups cloak their misogyny with the supposed righteousness of their cause, and on the surface they seem vastly different, but really they're both about power and control over how women should think and how they should live.

Two sides of the same coin.

Bad Sign

Well this can't be good:

To millions of Christians, they are a symbol of peace.

But to a pair of larger birds, the two doves released in the Vatican yesterday were nothing more than a chance for a bit of Sunday morning sport. 

No sooner had the birds been set free in St Peter’s Square – as a symbolic gesture of peace for Ukraine – than they were set upon by a seagull and a crow.

The doves apparently managed to escape with just some lost feathers.

So Putin can shape-shift into a crow now. That can't be a good sign either.

One Week Out

So, how are we doing?

Okay, not too bad. It looks like the nighttime low has gone the wrong direction by two degrees, but the chance of precipitation has risen to 50% for both day and night. And wintry mix is good, because that could mean sleet and stuff. I'll keep trying to get the temp down a few degrees and those of you concentrating on more precipitation, keep up the good work!

Update: Oh, and I meant to add that one shouldn't be fazed by the threats to move the game to Friday or Monday. I can see how a lot of the people who are planning on attending the game might be able to adjust their schedules, but it would probably cause a fair number of people some trouble.

And what about all of the Super Bowl parties that are planned for Sunday? How many of those would have to be cancelled after a lot of effort? It's not just residential either. Lots of people rent party rooms or reserve space at bars and restaurants. The NFL is going to mess with Super Sunday that way? Something like that will stoke some anger out there, particularly if people are dealing with non-refundable costs. You can bet somebody will sue.

Finally, there's the ad revenue, which is what the owners and the players care about the most. What kind of viewer dropoff will there be if the game shifts? I think it would be substantial. A fair percentage of viewers watch the game because it is also social event. Disrupt the social part of that and you lose a significant number of those viewers.

The NFL will do what it will do, of course, but it will have to be really ugly for them to move the game. Don't be deterred. 

Let The Super Bowl Forecasts Begin

The countdown to Super Bowl XLVIII has finally come within the 10-day weather forecast:

I'll be cheering, chanting, incanting, sacrificing small animals if that's what it takes, for even colder temps, but feel free to add your own wishes for snow, freezing rain, etc. This is almost certain to be the first and last open-air Super Bowl in the Northern US(in my lifetime at least), so let's make the most of it and do all that we can to encourage Mother Nature to give it to the fans good and hard.

Oh! My conscience just had a little twinge there. Is this wrong? What's that? Another Arctic blast and -20°F temperature is on the way here for next week? Forget the twinge, let's share the wealth.

Bwaaaaahahahahaha!

What's In A Name?

I'll allow for the possibility that I'm simply clueless, but I don't get this:

After word got out this week that the new summer festival in downtown Stillwater would be called Stillwater Log Jam, a resident contacted Mayor Ken Harycki.

Now, city officials are asking The Locals, the group planning the music and family festival, to consider another name.

"The city has concerns over the name that was chosen," Harycki said Thursday. "We were made aware -- how can I put this delicately? -- that the name was a vulgar reference that we would prefer not to have associated with a family event in the city. We don't want to be the laughingstock of the nation."

I suppose just about anything can be turned into a vulgarity if said a certain way. I have an old friend who has that ability(I won't call it a talent). But I've never heard "log jam" spoken that way. If you have the stomach to go over to urbandictionary.com and look it up, and I emphatically do not recommend that, there are some pretty disgusting definitions, but again, I have never heard the phrase used in any of those ways.

According to the article, the festival organizers tried to get the rights to use the old festival name, "Lumberjack Days," from the previous festival organizers, but for some reason they weren't able to reach an agreement. Hence, "Stillwater Log Jam," which still plays off of Stillwater's history as a lumber town.

I don't see any problem with "Log Jam," however I'm sure I could come up with all sorts of other names that could have double meanings, as you, er, wood expect from me.

The Return Of Barney Lakner(Updated 6/16/2015)

Remember that asshole who, along with some friends, terrorized a bunch of campers in the BWCA in 2007? Well, heeeee's baaaaaack:

The ringleader of a drunken, gun-shooting terroristic trip on Basswood Lake in 2007 has been arrested again, this time accused of leading officers on a high-speed snowmobile chase within the Boundary Waters Canoe Area Wilderness.

Barney Lakner, 46, of Ely has been charged with a felony and six misdemeanors after his arrest Jan. 11 while snowmobiling in the BWCAW, where federal law bans snowmobiles.

Lakner was arrested along with Edward Zupancich, 26, of Babbitt.

Talk about a couple more skidmarks on the underwear of humanity. You want to go snowmobiling in northern Minnesota right now? There are only about 5 billion places to do so outside of the BWCA. But what does this shitstain Lakner do? He brazenly drives his sled into the wilderness area where his previous dumbassery got him three years in prison. I don't know what this Zupancich's backstory is, but the fact that he was not only hanging out with Lakner but also joined him in trying to flee the police means he's probably a few cans short of a case. Regardless, it's Lakner's prior BWCA history that makes this noteworthy.

If you aren't familiar with it, here's a post I did on that 2007 incident that eventually led to Lakner doing three years in prison. He was lucky to just get three years back then, and now I regret thinking that it was a reasonable sentence at that time. In hindsight it was obviously not enough time for Lakner to get his shit together.

Well, he'll likely get that chance now. He's staring at up to 3 years for the felony fleeing charge and probably up to 90 days each on the six misdemeanor charges. Given his obvious contempt for the BWCA and the laws protecting it, maybe the judge can get him out of decent society's hair for another four and a half years. 

Update (2/28/2015): Zupancich was convicted on all six charges against him on 2/26/2015.

Update(6/16/2015): Lakner was convicted on all six charges against him on 6/15/2015.

Cold, Colds, And I Got Your Polar Vortex Right Here

It was -14°F when I got up this morning, with a cheery forecast of 1-3" of global warming to fall overnight tonight. Then it's subzero lows and single digit highs until we get a brief warmup on Friday and a chance for more snow over the weekend. By Sunday night we're back to subzero lows overnight. Mother Nature is giving it to us good and hard this year, though it could be even worse in the snow department.

It sounds like this round of deep freeze won't reach as far south as the one did a few weeks ago. In that one we only got down to -23°F, missing the record by 4 degrees. How low did it go where you are? 

I've been really struggling with whatever cold/flu bug hit back at the beginning of the year. I started to get better about a week after I caught it and then I had a relapse. I got better again, but had another relapse this past Friday with an unproductive cough I couldn't control and a fever. I even thought about going to the hospital Friday night, but I was finally able to get it under control with some cough medicine and get to sleep. That put me on the upswing again and I feel pretty good today, not that I'm taking anything for granted. At least my appetite is back today. I've lost close to 15 pounds the last three weeks, which maybe isn't all bad, but I'm sure it's not the right way to do it.

Getting back to that big chill earlier this month, even in the throes of illness I was able to take some amusement from the defensiveness of the Global Warming crowd. Yes, a big old honking Arctic air mass does not disprove Global Warming/Climate Change/Climate Disruption. Those of us in the Upper Midwest see them most winters at least once, though the latest was on the colder than normal side.

The real difference with that one was how far down it reached into the rest of the United States, to the point where it triggered a media reaction, which triggered the defensive spluttering of Climate Change hysterics all the way to the White House. It was hilarious to see John Holdren get all pissy about Climate Change heretics using a weather event to attack his beliefs, then turn right around and try to use the same weather event to bolster the case for his own Climate Change beliefs.

It's a shame that that idiot is advising the former leader of the free world, but at least he's putting out some comedy gold while he's doing his part to drive the US right into the ground.

For the record: Even the repeated Arctic blasts we are getting in Minnesota this winter by themselves don't say anything about our long term climate. They just mean we are having a cold winter, though that does serve to rebuke those who were saying such winters were a thing of the past about 10 years ago. 

I don't need vapid soundbites about the polar vortex to see how weather patterns form, have formed, my entire lifetime. We see it every year by the way the jet stream behaves, whether we get early snow blanketing the ground and cooling the air, and from the weather patterns from the Pacific. The climate science is far more complex, of course, but if one pays attention it is generally not too hard to see how a winter up here is shaping up.

For a more scientific take, see this from meteorologist Cliff Mass.

Oh, and bundle up.

So Long, Metrodome

The last few weeks have seen Minnesotans flocking to the Hubert H. Humphrey Metrodome to buy up souvenirs as the demolition/recycling process began in earnest. On Saturday, feminists hired by the Vikings will gather and chant derogatory slogans until the roof deflates the power will be cut to the 20 fans that keep the fabric roof inflated. Once the roof is removed, demolition will proceed quickly from the NE corner as the new stadium begins to take shape. The last of the Metrodome's wall and foundation should be demolished and gone in the next 45 to 60 days.

I've never harbored the animosity towards "The Hump" that many Twins and Vikings fans have had since before it was even built. Once the ridiculous decision to open the facility without air conditioning was rectified it was a refuge in the summer and a hell of a lot more comfortable to watch a Vikings game in the winter. That may sound like a strange thing to hear from someone who has spent so much time outdoors, but it's a matter of "time and place" for everything. When I want to watch a football game I want to watch a football game, not worry that I might lose a toe or part of an ear to frostbite.

Speaking of that playing in the elements thing, an awful lot of Vikings fans were demanding a new stadium explicitly so they could play outdoors and return to the glory days of the Purple People Eaters when teams from further south would dread to play here. It's funny how all that vehemence from some fans about playing outdoors disappeared once the Powers That Be decided a retractable roof was going to be too expensive and they chose a roof over an open air stadium. Poof!

I have a lot of fond memories of good times at the Metrodome with friends and family. It may have been a concrete and plastic utilitarian stadium, but it served us and many thousands more in the Upper Midwest very well over the decades. Not just the Twins and Vikings either. From college baseball teams in February to the annual Hmong festival in March to the high school tournaments and the monster truck pulls, it humbly and successfully served "the little people" as well as the rich and famous.

The politicians say that the new stadium will serve the broader community just as well as the Metrodome and perhaps they are right. But where the Metrodome exuded a sort of Midwestern pragmatism at a cost of $152 million in 2014 dollars, its $1 billion replacement has the disquieting effect of appearing to be more of a secular cathedral to the excesses of the today's sports industry than what I would call a stadium. It will be a colosseum for our modern day circuses. It may have to grudgingly host lesser events, but I can't help but wonder if the attendees will ever feel comfortable the way they did in the Metrodome.

It looks like the new facility(can I even use such a mundane word?) will follow in the footsteps of Target Field in widening the gap between the rich and not-so rich fans. Seat licenses, once considered an outrageous ripoff of season ticket holders, will comprise about 75% of the seating and knock another subset of the non-rich out of the game day experience. Oh well, the politicians will still call it the "people's stadium." Don't get me wrong, I have no problem with a company reaping what a free market will bear, but I can't square that with the enormous corporate welfare that public subsidies will provide the Vikings and their players and the phony common man claims of the NFL and MLB these days.

So long, Metrodome. Though I'm not going to get maudlin about your passing, you served us well and don't deserve the scorn that has been heaped on you over the years. Thanks for the memories.

Purple Smoke Over Winter Park

We have a new Head Coach:

Mike Zimmer, known as a no-nonsense disciplinarian, is the new coach of the Minnesota Vikings.

A 20-year veteran NFL assistant coach who worked with Hall of Famer Bill Parcells in Dallas before turning the Cincinnati Bengals’ defense around as their defensive coordinator the past six seasons, Zimmer will be named the ninth head coach in the Vikings’ 54-year history today.

Zimmer, a 57-year-old who has never been a head coach at any level, replaces Leslie Frazier, who was fired on Dec. 30, and becomes the third head coach hired since current owners Zygi and Mark Wilf bought the team in 2005.

Read the story at the link and you'll know as much as I do about Zimmer. The players he has coached speak highly of him and the local sports media seem to be pleased with the selection, though the latter will turn on him soon enough. They always do.

When the initial lovey-dovey is over, Zimmer and the Vikings need to make some decisions about the offensive and defensive coordinators. There are already rumors that Norv Turner is being allowed to talk to the Vikes about the OC role, but I haven't seen anything official yet about either of the incumbants being let go. The thought of Turner as head coach would have had me gnashing teeth and rending garments and such, but he might be a pretty good OC. 

After the staff gets settled the matter of a decent quarterback needs to be addressed. The consensus in NFL mock drafts at this point seems to be that Teddy Bridgewater and Johnny Manziel will be gone for sure by the time the Vikings pick #8. I've seen a couple that have the Vikes taking Blake Bortles and more than a few others that say they will draft Derek Carr.

I think the Vikings might try to move up in the draft. The QB situation has got to get settled for the new coach's sake and for the totally frustrated fan base. You can also bet that the Wilfs want to see a QB that can compete at a high level in place and tested by the time they move the team into its new stadium in 2016.

However, all of that doesn't mean they should pay any price to draft a QB this year. If it isn't in the cards this year it isn't in the cards. A move in the free agent market now with an eye to the 2015 draft isn't out of the question. 

First things first though, welcome to Minnesota, Mike Zimmer. Good luck, you're gonna need a little.