**Exclusive**
Ronco to buy Reuters Media Division
Ron Popeil has been selling products that make it easier for people to prepare food and do household chores for decades. Now he's going to take Ronco into the information age with the purchase this week of Reuters' Media Division for an undisclosed amount of cash. Ronco will immediately re-brand Reuters' Factbox product as "Popeil's Fact-O-Matic".
"What Ron really wants is Factbox," one insider said. "He's been looking at it for some time, but the final kicker is how well it performed for the IPCC last week. Our engineers are just gushing about how seamlessly it takes a customer's assertions and turns them into facts as far as news consumers are concerned. One of them called it 'beautiful'."
"Facts are a pain in the ass," said another source. "If we can get assertions into the public eye without making the customer go through the trouble of releasing the underlying supporting data, well, we just think there's a huge market for that."
"Fact-O-Matic" will be bundled with the also purchased "Consensus Builder" and the "Pocket Suspend Disbelief" products or available a la carte.
Rumors that the purchase was accelerated because of talks between Reuters and George Foreman are apparently false.
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