What a Race

Ladies and Gentlemen...Welcome to the April 27th running of the Dumbass Stakes and we've got one of the best fields ever. I'm Dave E. and I'll be calling today's race. They're all in and set to go...

And they're off...
Sheryl Crow bursts into the early lead with Harry Reid and Alec Baldwin close behind.
Going into the first turn it's Sheryl Crow, Harry Reid, Alec Baldwin, and Glenn Greenwald with the rest of the field close.
Sheryl Crow and Harry Reid are neck and neck...and here comes Mathew Kramer on the outside.
Around the turn it's Sheryl Crow, Harry Reid, Alec Baldwin, Mathew Kramer and Glenn Greenwald, all within a length, folks. What a race!
Alec Baldwin is surging now, folks you can tell he really wants this, as Sheryl Crow starts to fade a bit.
It's Harry Reid and Alec Baldwin neck and neck, Sheryl Crow, Mathew Kramer, and Glenn Greenwald.
As they come around the final turn it's Harry Reid and Alec Baldwin, Sheryl Crow, Mathew Kramer, Glenn Greenwald and here comes late entrant Dan Simpson!
Dark-horse Dan Simpson is making his move with a tremendous display of dumbass!
It's Harry Reid and Alec Baldwin with Mathew Kramer and Dan Simpson right on their necks, Sheryl Crow, and Glenn Greenwald.
It's gonna be down to the wire folks...
And it's Dan Simpson by a nose, Harry Reid, and Alec Baldwin...What a finish!