Fish Fear Me

Monday Buzz

Upper 50s + low humidity + nice gentle breeze = awesome sleeping weather. The furnace is off, the windows are open, and spring is here. I had the best night's sleep in weeks, though for some reason I had a very vivid but confused dream about George Harleigh. Don't ask, I have no idea why.

The Twins couldn't come up with the win yesterday to sweep the Tigers, though it was close and a pretty good game. Personally, I'll take two out of three every time. But the baserunning errors continue and they are driving me freakin' crazy. Yesterday, first it was Mike Redmond getting thrown out at third after tagging from second. That ended the Twins' half of the second. Then in the fourth, Jason Kubel knocked an amazing 420 foot double to center that scored two runs to tie the game. He then managed to promptly get picked off at second to end the inning. Arrrggh! I swear, there's some kind of karma that gets released when stuff like that happens and I had a bad feeling after that. Sure enough, the first pitch from Santana after that got knocked out of the park and the Tigers were back to a one run lead. The Gods of Baseball punish stupidity. It's like a law. Now, those guys are good players and I'm not going to get all pissy at them in particular. The team as a whole has got to sharpen up though or they are not going to make it in the AL Central. They're good, but not that good.

And now for something completely different. The amusing line of the day in the Strib is this: "Arnold said 10 people were identified because they left their clothes and wallets behind." Just another Sunday night in Moorhead, MN.

What a Race

Ladies and Gentlemen...Welcome to the April 27th running of the Dumbass Stakes and we've got one of the best fields ever. I'm Dave E. and I'll be calling today's race. They're all in and set to go...

And they're off...
Sheryl Crow bursts into the early lead with Harry Reid and Alec Baldwin close behind.
Going into the first turn it's Sheryl Crow, Harry Reid, Alec Baldwin, and Glenn Greenwald with the rest of the field close.
Sheryl Crow and Harry Reid are neck and neck...and here comes Mathew Kramer on the outside.
Around the turn it's Sheryl Crow, Harry Reid, Alec Baldwin, Mathew Kramer and Glenn Greenwald, all within a length, folks. What a race!
Alec Baldwin is surging now, folks you can tell he really wants this, as Sheryl Crow starts to fade a bit.
It's Harry Reid and Alec Baldwin neck and neck, Sheryl Crow, Mathew Kramer, and Glenn Greenwald.
As they come around the final turn it's Harry Reid and Alec Baldwin, Sheryl Crow, Mathew Kramer, Glenn Greenwald and here comes late entrant Dan Simpson!
Dark-horse Dan Simpson is making his move with a tremendous display of dumbass!
It's Harry Reid and Alec Baldwin with Mathew Kramer and Dan Simpson right on their necks, Sheryl Crow, and Glenn Greenwald.
It's gonna be down to the wire folks...
And it's Dan Simpson by a nose, Harry Reid, and Alec Baldwin...What a finish!

For Harry Reid...and others

From "To Bear Any Burden", by Al Santoli (1985) pp. 165-166

Psychological Warfare

Truong Nhu Tang
Minister of Justice
National Liberation Front
1960-1976

As a Central Committee member of the NLF before 1968, I shared responsibility for mobilizing the population in the towns. And although I became the minister of justice in the PRG in 1968, my main job was always psychological warfare actions.

Psychological warfare is an integral part of the "popular war," which mobilizes all political, economical, psychological, military, and diplomatic fields. Psychological warfare is the principal decisive arm of the popular war. Another section of the NLF was responsible for working with groups in the West opposed to the war, and Western media to weaken the resolve of the American government. This is also an important aspect of psychological warfare.

Our aim was to present ourselves to the world as a large representation of the South's population. And the American media is easily open to suggestion and false information given by the Communist agents. The society is completely hypnotized by the media. (For example, Pham Xuan An manipulated several important American reporters in Vietnam for years. Today An is a high-ranking officer in Communist intelligence in Ho Chi Minh City).

The tragedy was that the PRG told international and Vietnamese public opinion that our movement is a nationalist movement, with our end to create a democratic Vietnam. And that our political regime would not be Communist.

At that time it was very easy to mobilize people in the United States because the U.S. was overengaged. Thousands of American boys were in Vietnam and there were anti-U.S. demonstrations in Washington. In South Vietnam, religious organizations, like Buddhists or Catholic, protested against the regime. But behind them were always some activists who were Communists. This is a tactic we call "the watermelon"--green on the outside and red on the inside. These tactics were used in South Vietnam before 1975. This is a tactic of the Soviet bloc for propaganda against the free world.

The aim is not so much to achieve direct support of Soviet goals, but to make opposition to the policy of the free world. Like with Vietnam, we were not so much looking for supporters, but rather for opponents to the American and Saigon regimes in order to create a crisis among allied governments of the free world. And paralyze them so they cannot act. And to isolate the U.S. government from its people.

Another big problem is the way the Communists twist ideology. They always use words like: freedom, peace, democracy. And the better impulses of people who want peace are manipulated into a popular movement against the free world's defenses. While in the Soviet bloc, no such movement is tolerated. And they continue to build their offensive military capabilities and continue their acts of aggression by themselves or their surrogates.

Now, this is not to say that America did not make mistakes in Vietnam, or that war is anything but a horrible thing. But I can assure you that not only were the South Vietnamese and American public lied to by the Communists. Even those of us who lived in the jungle and sacrificed and fought for true independence and concord were made victims of the Communists' lies and deceit.

Wow. Switch a few names and locations, and the more things change the more they stay the same, eh, Senator?

Say, just between you and me, who are you betting on as the "Jimmy Carter" of 2008? C'mon, you can tell me. I already have my pick for the "Ronald Reagan" of 2012.

Let's play "Stupid or Crazy?"

Item 1: The McGreevey Effect: Is Your Husband Gay?

Excerpt:

In her book, Kaye included "The Gay Husband Checklist," which lists ways for women to detect whether or not their husband is gay:

1. If your husband thinks you are a nymphomaniac or "pushy and aggressive" because you want sex twice a week.
2. If sexual activity steeply declines within the first few years of marriage.
3. You're always more sexually aggressive than your husband.
4. If your husband is turned off by the thought of touching your vaginal area or performing oral sex on you.
5. If his best friend is gay.
6. If he hangs out in gay bars.
7. If he enjoys watching gay porn movies and surfing gay porn Web sites.
8. If he is excessively homophobic, mocking and imitating other gay men.
9. If he brags about gay men complimenting him on his looks.

Those first five seem kind of debatable to me. Granted, for example, most husbands probably don't think their wife is a nympho if she wants sex twice a week. Each of those situations could have a valid reason or mitigating circumstance though. And without getting into too much information territory, some guys are just clueless as far as #4 goes. But give me a break on 6 and 7. Ya think? That's not a way to detect, that's a two-by-four across the friggin' forehead. Ladies, did you really need someone to tell you this?

Verdict: Just stupid.

Item 2: Lawyer's Price for Missing Pants: $65 Million

You really have to read the whole thing to get the full effect of this one, but here are a couple excerpts:

When the neighborhood dry cleaner misplaced Roy Pearson's pants, he took action. He complained. He demanded compensation. And then he sued. Man, did he sue.

Two years, thousands of pages of legal documents and many hundreds of hours of investigative work later, Pearson is seeking to make Custom Cleaners pay -- would you believe more than the payroll of the entire Washington Nationals roster?

...

Pearson is demanding $65,462,500. The original alteration work on the pants cost $10.50.

By the way, Pearson is a lawyer. Okay, you probably figured that. But get this: He's a judge, too -- an administrative law judge for the District of Columbia.

...

A judge in the case has admonished Pearson about his take-no-prisoners tactics. When Pearson sought to broaden the case to try to prove violations of consumer protection laws on behalf of all District residents, D.C. Superior Court Judge Neal Kravitz said that "the court has significant concerns that the plaintiff is acting in bad faith" because of "the breathtaking magnitude of the expansion he seeks."

Pearson has put the Chungs and their attorneys to work answering long lists of questions, such as this: "Please identify by name, full address and telephone number, all cleaners known to you on May 1, 2005 in the District of Columbia, the United States and the world that advertise 'SATISFACTION GUARANTEED.' " (emphasis mine)

The trial is set for June. Ladies and gentlemen, our legal system.

Verdict: Crazy. Batshit I've been wandering in the desert and the sun has baked my brain, crazy.

Item 3: Women Stop Car, Fight in Center Lane of I-694

Two women apparently couldn't wait to settle a dispute, so they stopped the car they were in, got out in the middle of a busy Twin Cities area freeway Wednesday afternoon and began fighting in front of an unwilling audience: rush hour motorists.

The women threw punches at each other and tossed items onto the road as they fought about 5 p.m. in the center lane of westbound Interstate Hwy. 694 near the Mississippi River and Hwy. 252 on the Brooklyn Park-Fridley border, the State Patrol said.

And in this lane, weighing in at...

For their trouble they were both granted the privilege of being guests of Anoka County for a while. This one is kind of tough. That spot is one of the busiest in the metro during rush hour. That they didn't get clipped or slammed into is probably a miracle. Ah heck, let's give the grand prize to these two.

Verdict: Stupid and Crazy.

That's it for this Thursday's edition of "Stupid or Crazy". Thanks for playing!

Good, bad, ugly(updated)

So far, so good update: Mom is still doing great as she recovers from her knee replacement surgery. She was transferred to the rehab facility(Mom's in rehab!) this weekend and it's a very nice facility. The staff I've met so far have been great also. Five days after the operation she has not developed any post-op infection, her blood sugar has stayed under control, and the pain is there when she stands or does PT, but it's manageable and she's comfortable when sitting or lying down. We'll know later in the week how long it will be before she can go home.

Ick: That's the only way to describe how the Twins played this weekend against KC. Ortiz gave them a good effort yesterday, but the bats couldn't give him any support and he got the 3-1 loss. On Friday night Ponson got hammered in the 5th inning and got the hook after giving up 6 runs, all earned. On Saturday they won 7-5 despite more dumbass baserunning that is starting to get kind of worrisome. It's still early in the season and they are 11-7 compared to 7-11 at this point last year. They certainly haven't clicked yet though. The good news is that Santana and Ortiz are looking solid at this point and Silva is pitching well enough.

This is your brain on Global Warming hysteria: I can handle all sorts of nannyism bologna, but I have to draw the line at telling me how to wipe my ass.

Ms. Sheryl "Skidmark" Crow:

I propose a limitation be put on how many sqares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting.  Now, I don't want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights, but I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit,  except, of course, on those pesky occasions where 2 to 3 could be required. When presenting this idea to my younger brother, who's judgement I trust implicitly, he proposed taking it one step further. I believe his quote was, "how bout just washing the one square out."

Now that last line kind of made me think Crow wrote this, er...tongue-in-cheek, so to speak. That would be the kind of line I would deliver, steeped in sarcasm, if I was her brother. But I don't know. She's deep into The Church of Man-made Global Warming, so it's very possible she really means what she wrote. Looking at her website this morning and at various commentary on the web, I don't see anything that says it was a joke. Well, intended as a joke might be the way to put it.

Sigh. 

We are deep into the Age of Dumbassery, people.

Deep.

Update: "...it was a JOKE!". Uh, ok then. I'll take her word for it. I'm sure that the millions of people who read her words and decided she was batshit had nothing to do with it.

So far, so good

Knock on wood. Mom had a total knee replacement this morning and the surgeon said that it went "perfect". Whew. It's a relatively low-risk procedure, but it's still major surgery so you worry. She'll see how the next day goes before deciding if she will go home or to a care facility for a week or so. She hated the thought of the latter and seemed pretty determined to come home when I saw her last night. We'll see, as I know only too well that one's post-op perspective can be quite different from the pre-op one. Doctors have a way of not really telling you how bad it will feel afterwards.

Mom's a pretty tough cookie though so I wouldn't bet against her. Six years cancer free now after having the lumpectomy and going through both chemo and radiation. If there are minimal or no complications then this will be a great help to her in remaining active. Hopefully the next couple of days go well.

Why? Here's why...

My thoughts and prayers are with the victims at Virginia Tech and their families. It should be enough for now that we are stunned and saddened by this awful crime, but no, like everything now days, it apparently must immediately be filtered through the BDS prism:

From Steven D at Booman Tribune:

Bush's comments on the shooting (as conveyed by Dana Perino, White House Deputy Press Secretary):

"He was horrified and his immediate reaction was one of deep concern for the families of the victims, the victims themselves, the students, the professors and all the people of Virginia who have dealt with this shocking incident," White House deputy press secretary Dana Perino said. "His thoughts and prayers are with them."

"The president believes that there is a right for people to bear arms, but that all laws must be followed," Perino said, noting that Bush and Education Secretary Margaret Spellings held a conference on school gun violence last October. "Certainly, bringing a gun into a school domitory and shooting … is against the law and something someone should be held accountable for," Perino said.

Questions for Ms. Perino: Isn't it just a wee bit inappropriate to insert the 2nd amendment and the right to bear arms in the same breath as your statement about the President's reaction to this horrible event? Is that really the best time to openly kowtow to the NRA and the gun lobby?

___________________________

Steven? You've been conned by AP(or ABC), because it wasn't in the same breath and because she was asked. Here's the transcript to Perino's briefing this morning:

Opening statement:

"The President was made aware of the Virginia Tech shootings. He was horrified and his immediate reaction was one of deep concern for the families of the victims, the victims, themselves, the students, the professors and all the people of Virginia who have dealt with this shocking incident. And his thoughts and prayers are with them; we are monitoring the situation. And while state and local authorities are in the lead right now -- I think that will remain the case, but federal assets are available should they be needed, if Virginia were to request them."

Later, the 9th question in on the briefing:

Q Dana, going back to Virginia Tech, what more does this White House think needs to be done as it relates to gun issues? The President says current laws need to be strengthened, anything beyond that -- you had a conference on school violence with guns -- what more needs to be done?

MS. PERINO: I would point you back to the fact that President, along with Secretary Spellings, hosted last October -- October 10, 2006 -- a conference on school gun violence after the Amish school shooting and the other shootings that had happened, because the tragedies are the ones that just collectively break America's heart and are ones that we deeply feel, because all of us can imagine what it would be like to have been at your own school, your own college, and to have something happen. And those of us who are parents, or brothers or sisters of people at the schools have to take that into consideration.

As far as policy, the President believes that there is a right for people to bear arms, but that all laws must be followed. And certainly bringing a gun into a school dormitory and shooting -- I don't want to say numbers because I know that they're still trying to figure out many people were wounded and possibly killed, but obviously that would be against the law and something that someone should be held accountable for.

_____________

Either AP or ABC has dishonestly assembled those quotes to appear as consecutive and you, Steven, credulously ate that up and spewed it back out.

Apparently P.T. Barnum is alive and well and working at AP. The important focus is on the people at Virginia Tech and not on the fools who try to leap on this horror for political gain, but goddamn I'm sick of that shit.

Wait for it

Airports commission to vote on cabbie rules today

The Metropolitan Airports Commission is expected to vote today on penalties for cab drivers who refuse service.

Some Muslim cabbies are refusing -- on religious grounds -- to transport airport fares who are carrying alcohol.

Under the proposal, drivers who refuse service for any reason would have their licenses suspended for 30 days. A second refusal would mean a two-year revocation.

It should be happening about now(11:00 A.M.). One way or another, this ought to be interesting.

(background here)

Update: The vote this morning was in the Management and Operations Committee. The proposal has passed in that committee and has been forwarded to the full commission, which should vote on it at it's 1:00 P.M. meeting this afternoon.

Update 2:  The Airports Commission passed the proposed rule unanimously this afternoon:

Starting May 11, any airport taxi driver who refuses to transport riders carrying alcohol will be suspended for 30 days. And after a second offense, their license would be revoked for two years.

The Metropolitan Airports Commission voted 11-0 Monday to approve the crackdown, which some Muslim drivers say violates their religious beliefs. Commissioners called the change reasonable, practical and important for rider safety.

It may or may not be over though:

Jeff Hassan, a lawyer representing Muslim cabbies, said the issue might wind up going to the Minnesota Supreme Court.

I think this issue and others like it are going to be around for a while.

Three series in

So, three series into the season, how is the Reclamation Rotation doing for the Twins?

• Santana-Two very good starts, the last one against the White Sox was most impressive. He went seven innings, allowed only one hit, and struck out 9. He da man.
• Bonser-After a solid six inning performance against the Orioles, Boof was awful in his second start against the Yankees. He gave up six runs in 4 1/3, though it's not like his team helped him out much in that one. Boof worries me.
• Ortiz-I saw his first start this year at the Metrodome. He got into a little trouble in the sixth and gave up two runs, but he got out of that and completed the seventh before yielding to the bullpen. Yesterday he helped the Twins avoid a sweep by the Yankees in going eight innings and only giving up one run. If he keeps his focus the way he has so far this year, he be da second man.
• Silva-He did a solid five innings against the White Sox, giving up only one run. His teammates could only manage three hits and no runs, so he still got tagged with the loss. If Silva can deliver 5 good innings on a fairly consistent basis I'll be happy with that.
• Ponson-At some point this Saturday evening you may see buzzards circling the Metrodome. Do not be alarmed, it will just mean that Sidney is about to get yanked. To be fair, his teammates didn't back him up very well against the Yankees. Those eight runs in 4 1/3 were all earned, but that doesn't tell the whole story. He also has the toughest spot in the rotation and he will yield once again to Santana on Friday night so Johan can stay on a regular schedule. Those are the breaks though. We'll see how he does the next couple of games, but my hopes are not high.

Still, I think we'll see Ponson around for a few more weeks. Matt Garza, the pitcher that everyone wanted to see come north from Florida, went 3 1/3 in his season debut last week and gave up 3 unearned runs on 2 hits and 5, count em, 5 walks. He's still a top prospect and my guess is that we'll see him in a Twins uniform by June. It's awfully quiet on the Garza front at the moment though.

If the Twins are going to compete this year one thing they better get their act together on quick are the mental and fielding errors. This is not a team that can overcome poor fielding and dumbass base-running mistakes. They win because they take advantage of the other team's mistakes. And outside of Santana and possibly Ortiz, the rest of the starting pitchers are just not good enough to cover for shitty defense. At this early point in the season I'm more worried about the hitting and fielding than the starting pitchers. Step it up guys.

Ending this post on a lighter note, this was from yesterday's Strib(We got snow yesterday):

Some players -- especially those from Latin American countries -- have never driven in snowy conditions in the Twin Cities.

That subject was brought up to Twins catcher Mike Redmond, who was a teammate of Twins second baseman Luis Castillo with the Florida Marlins.

"Considering I'm not even sure Luis knows how to even get to the ballpark, it will be tough for him, let alone to drive in the snow," Redmond said. "I would want to alert the Minneapolis-area commuters that Luis Castillo would be driving in the snow, because that would be scary. Truly scary."

Castillo, who has never driven in the snow, was unaware of the forecast.

"I don't know what I'm going to do," he said. "I better go slow."

By the time the Twins took the field for early stretching, Redmond had promised to bring Castillo to the park today.

Heheh.

Fact-O-Matic

**Exclusive**

Ronco to buy Reuters Media Division

Ron Popeil has been selling products that make it easier for people to prepare food and do household chores for decades. Now he's going to take Ronco into the information age with the purchase this week of Reuters' Media Division for an undisclosed amount of cash. Ronco will immediately re-brand Reuters' Factbox product as "Popeil's Fact-O-Matic".

"What Ron really wants is Factbox," one insider said. "He's been looking at it for some time, but the final kicker is how well it performed for the IPCC last week. Our engineers are just gushing about how seamlessly it takes a customer's assertions and turns them into facts as far as news consumers are concerned. One of them called it 'beautiful'."

"Facts are a pain in the ass," said another source. "If we can get assertions into the public eye without making the customer go through the trouble of releasing the underlying supporting data, well, we just think there's a huge market for that."

"Fact-O-Matic" will be bundled with the also purchased "Consensus Builder" and the "Pocket Suspend Disbelief" products or available a la carte.

Rumors that the purchase was accelerated because of talks between Reuters and George Foreman are apparently false.